Honest to goodness-gracious I don’t know what I’m doing… I’m on such a fuckin downer at the moment. I am in a foreign country I should be living it up meeting people, having fun… Last night was quite good… photos later.
But I don’t know. BLEURGH 
but it’s nothing to do with the people here. The people here, especially in AIESEC are some of the best, most friendly people I’ve ever met. It’s so cool. Like last night for example it was the first night of the National AIESEC in Ukraine Conference- New Horizons (AIESECers from all over Ukraine come to confer) and so of course everyone is chatting and being really friendly and getting pissed. It was kind of wonderful. And I got a couple more people in the t-shirt. I really want to put them up, but not quite yet because I’m at an internet cafe and don’t have my cord.
OMG. These headphones smell like grossness. Or maybe that’s me, I haven’t had a shower yet… But that’s because I stayed at the conference. I wants a shower.
Have I already mentioned that I don’t really have anything to do during my spare time while in Donetsk? Because I only have work at 3pm normally I have the mornings free… so it’s either internet cafe, Puzata Hata (restaurant), Liverpool (restaurant) or McDonalds (Amercian Embassy/obesity centre)… sitting around which will eventually lead to buying food… Yesterday I noticed that I kept wanting to buy food… and I couldn’t stop myself. And I realised why is is… IT’S BECAUSE I’M BORED :( God, so not only am I wasting my money I’m also getting fat. But I don’t know if I regret the purchases because they don’t have Apricot thick-shakes in McDs in NZ and their chips are like… AMAZING! They’re “small” fries I got yesterday was as big as a medium… they were so huge and they were like a tinsy bit thicker than normal fries I think because they don’t bend in the middle and were crunchy and the perfect amount of salty… FANTASTIC. Anyway.
I need to prepare a lesson for tomorrow and don’t know if I cbf Perhaps I need the sun. There was light snow yesterday, that was cool. Like someone dusted icing sugar on the ground. But according to the locals it’s not REAL snow. So, I’m waiting for that.
Oh yeah, the reason I’m writing is because I found out that I only have one more week of work… Ok. This is where the BITCHING really starts. I came TO THE OTHER SIDE OF WORLD to do a job for 6 weeks. I knew that perhaps there would be a holiday but I reckoned I’d have most of the time working… but no. I finish at the end of next week so I’ve only been working for 3 weeks, which means that I’m only really entitled to 3 weeks of pay… So, they sign me up for a contract for 6 weeks for an internship that, by the time I get here, only lasts for 3 weeks. What’s more, I thought I would be getting proper training about how to go about teaching, how to organise presentations etc… no. I didn’t get any instruction from the guys that actually run the project, maybe I was expecting too much. Thank God for Misako. She teaches Skills Matters with me. She’s lovely and Japanese. She’s told me how to do everything. Unfortunately the presentations I make are quite shit compared to the ones she makes, I’m actually quite scared that I might just freak out when she leaves next week. But it’s not that bad because topics for next week are public speaking and self-presentation so it’s not as difficult as trying to arse my way through a project management presentation. Because you better believe that I have no fucking idea about project management and I’m just trying to interpret the powerpoint that I find on myaiesec.net… this “interpretation” involves me reading the powerpoint and talking out of my arse. Ok, so I have three groups of people each of which have 2 classes a week. They are kind of divided into age/ability. So the first group are people my age-ish/a bit younger, the second group are people who are a bit older than me and the final group is made up of people already in the workforce. The first group didn’t actually want to be there last time, they said that they wanted to hurry it up, which is good, because to be frank, I didn’t really want to be there either. There were 4 people in this group. It’s easy to arse you’re way through this one because they are young and so care about this less. The second group has more people normally and they care about this more. The last group intimidates me because they ACTUALLY LISTEN AND CONTRIBUTE… and what’s more I have to look like I’m listening/look like I actually know what they are talking about… it’s not a language thing, it’s a knowledge thing. In the last presentation there were all of these diagrams that I didn’t really understand let alone I could explain. Luckily, the older group are so enthusiastic about it that they make their own presentations and one of the girls made an introduction to project management presentation that was 99% similar to the one that Misako and I made. She did hers before ours which was fantastic because then I didn’t really have to explain anything because they already saw it. So, I’m pretty much sick of Skills Matters… I think I do enjoy doing presentations but not about Skills Matters… I think one of the reasons that they make their own presentations is because they think we’re shit. Which is quite true, I don’t blame them. Well, Misako is quite good, and the only reason they like me is because I can speak English in an ok fashion. This doesn’t really happen when I need to explain something though. When they want something clarified and I only have a vague idea of what it is I just start to string words that have something do with what I’m explaining and just hope that they don’t realise that my sentence doesn’t actually make sense. For example: Scope is how big or far that your project reaches in terms of the outlook *mimes a circle with arms*
So… I went to the morning part of the conference (which goes until Sunday I think)… I actually started to nod-off, so fucking boring. So didn’t go to the middle(which was in Russian anyway) (went coat shoping with Toni and Sarah instead), but had to go to the end/evening plannery because I’m still living with Iuliia (who is still as lovely as ever) and this is where she was… and got a taste of AIESEC culture. I’d already been exposed during Regional Training Seminar to some AIESEC crazyness. I kind of planned to join AIESEC properly next year, because, as I said to Monica (Head of AIESEC Central Eastern Europe 08-09)-(she’s uber cool btw) I like dancing, I like chanting and leadership is ok… (sorry if you don’t get it) ANYWAY, what I did at high school pretty much forms a lovely basis for what AIESEC offers and I really don’t know why I don’t have a real drive to join… It is a fantastic platform for young people to discover and develop their leadership potential but I don’t know… Perhaps it’s because I feel like a complete outsider, both here and AIESEC Auckland. Perhaps I shouldn’t say that… but I don’t like lying and that there is the truth…
I always thought that my neutral face wasn’t really depressed-looking… but does not appear to be so. For example I was waiting for the evening plannery to start and I was just sitting around waiting (like I do a lot here) surrounded by Russian and I was approached by Alona. I had no idea who she was but she asked if I was ok with that kind of concerned look on her face. I started talking to her, she’s from Lviv, which is perfect because she said that she can get cheap accommodation for us if we go and even take us on a tour. This deserves a 
And later on after the plannery when everyone was getting rooms sorted I was waiting around on level 5 because Iuliia told me to follow some random people from this city that sounds like Franksomething. The girl, Lysia (maybe?) looked like an anime character. But anyway so I’m just waiting listening to music on my phone and that dude who’s on national committee, Caravan(?), asked if I was ok cos I looked bored/sad. Perhaps it’s not because I’m a complete depro at the moment but maybe it’s just because these people are nice. The annoying thing about the conference and just Ukraine in general is that they have to use English to speak with me which makes me feel like I annoying douche because I can’t speak Russian. ANYWAY at the conference I might be all good, like at the RTS in Auckland mingling was ok, but here I can’t just jump into conversations because I don’t know what they are talking about and because I only speak English I have to make them use English… And because I’m foreign they always ask where I’m from and I’m obliged to talk about NZ… which is nice, but not after having to do it for a 2 weeks and is the 100% of the conversation when I first meet them. I feel like such a douche not being able to understand or speak Russian.
Just looking at my old posts it’s interesting to note the frequency and intensity of my emoticons: First day in Ukraine = 3 x :D, A Little Bit About Ukraine = 7 x 
1 x :P, Don’t You Just Hate That = 2x :(, Work and Stuff = 1x 6 x I think it’s going downhill a bit.
Thanks for reaching the end. You’re awesome.