Second Draw Down

Whoo hoooooo… exams are over!!!!… Well that is until the end of November when the actual exams are… scrazy. We worked our asses off for what seems to be nothing but unsatisfactory grades. Hold on, I’m not saying that I feel I didn’t do well in my exams because so far my marks have been very satisfactory. Too satisfactory if you catch my drift. MEDIOCRE MERITS. I have MERITgitis where I can’t get any better than average (which is merit for me in most of my subjects). This illness was discovered by Mona Zhu 12 of September 2007. I have meritgitis and may be contagious. Symptoms include procrastination, lack of explanations and confusion in exams.

Please take the following precautions if you are not yet affected:

-Carry text books around everywhere. When someone who you think may have the disease use it as a weapon and throw it at them then run away as quickly as your skinny legs can carry you but not too fast or you’ll need your inhaler.

-If you are confronted by a meritgitis carrier and do not have a textbook just start reciting pointless equations/facts such as when y equals x squared the shape of a graph is a parabola or voltage is split in series. These examples should not be used as these facts are already known by those that carry meritgitis and they may attempt in engaging in conversation which will make you susceptible. More complicated facts are recommended to be used such as the conservation of momentum in a closed system.

-You are never safe from this disease because it has been known to pop up in those that have not been around meritgitis carriers. Like the Bubonic Plague it has been speculated something else carries the illness before infecting the student. It has been thought to be either music or television as trends have shown that the more a student is exposed to tv/music (especially of the rock/rap/hip hop genre) the more likely it is for them to get the disease. For your own safety it is recommended to throw out all of your televisions and destroy all stereos, radios, i-Pods or any other music making device/instrument particularly electric based. Classical instruments do not seem to carry the disease so it is safe to continue playing the bassoon etc…

 Be warned. The only way to rid the world of the disease is to get a text book and attach it to the face of those that are infected until they can’t breathe… and die… because there is no known cure. As devastating as this may seem some people have been able to carry on with their lives with this disease. I have been living with it for about a year now and am leading a healthy happy life and what’s more I don’t think I have infected my friends… yet.